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Chuyển hóa sân hậnTransforming the anger
Update: 12/06/2015
Question: It is said that after being angry with someone, they themselves realized their mistakes but they still backslide it after some time. So, how to transform completely the anger?
Answer:
Anger is not right to the tolerant and compassionate spirit of Buddhism. After things had happened, they saw their mistakes and felt no more anger. However, it is no use if we keep doing that next time and feel sorry again. We must cultivate to stop immediately whenever we realize that the things are just bad or wrong. When people’s words or actions make us angry and we react with our anger, that means we do not know how to cultivate and how to stop creating Karmas and also how to manage the habit of the consciousness. Just because our mind is egoistic and we always consider ourselves better than anyone else, whose things are practiced to become our habits without our intention. Any critical and bad words that touch our egos would be reacted right away without considering those words whether they are right or wrong.
It is no sanity and good judgement.
We must practice our habit of consideration to be deliberate in the awareness of right or wrong. If it is right, we should make it better. Conversely, if it is wrong, experience it as a good lesson for us not to make mistakes like them. Considering the suggestion supporting our progress; that is the real cultivation.
Whether normal people or the monks, calmness is a very important virtue. With calmness, we surely have our intelligence in every words or actions. With bright mind, we will see things clearly so that we can do right and get good results.
To prevent and cure the high-temper desease, we must think as the few cases below:
At first, we must consider the reason why they do not blame anyone else but us. Maybe we did make something wrong.
Second, if we are not wrong and they just keep blaming us, then we consider that there are causation and karma-result. A Buddhist must clearly see that nothing happens without reason; we harvest what we did sow. Anything which is unhappy happens in this lives because we owned them in our previous lives.
Just like conflicts happened for along time ago between us and someone else. Although we forgot the old story, the other still remembers. We meet again after 30 years and he/she use the worst way to respond to the incident before. That is just the cause and effect in this lives as far more the resentment from many lives ago. There are some people who loved each other at the first meet, since it is known that in previous life he/she had grace with such person, perhaps relatives, brothers or friends. Otherwise, there are people who have just met for the first time feel hatred because they had feud in previous lives. Everything has its cause. They do not happen naturally or they happen without any reason.
If we borrow something happily, we must pay it merrily and must not complain or sorrow, that is the right justice. If we understand that causation and accept it, the two parties are harmonious, no longer suffering. In contradiction, if we keep thinking people bullying, cheating, playing bad or dominating us, we would be very painful. If we are in debt, We must pay it sooner or later. Besides, we are cultivators who practice patience and should not dispute on gaining or losing with them. Always seeing everything from a causal respective and practising application and our lives will become very cheerful and friendly.
According to the Sutras of the Buddha, he taught, ‘On this living land: people can not do anything without patience’. Without patience and hard work, everything will be failed. Or in The Diamond Sutra said, ‘It is necessary that people be successful with patience.’
Patience means humility and condescension. The land that we are living is the saha world, which means we must be patience to stay and great matters always happen when we feel overload. We must condescend to live together or we would break-up no matter how deep we are in deep love. So, practicing the patience is the daily cultivation.
Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva is merciful and compassionate and she save all of us, then her name is known all around the world. Her willow branch is soft and endurable but the storm can not break it. That is the symbol for the patience, the humility and also the key to make every member in our family safe and happy in a solemn and pure Bodhimandala. If we do not cultivate the patience, that means ‘saving the wood for three years and then burning them in one hour’, every collective merits will be destroyed by an angry moment. If we do not keep calm while being angry, we will see and solve the problem in a wrong way, as our ancients said,’Anger causing over-reaction’. So, patience is an important thing in life.
The patience will lead to a higher level; that is love. When our minds are calm, every unclear things will be lighted up. Then, we will have wisdom and love. When facing all problems in daily life, we must be patience to listen, to understand and to open our love wide to every people around us.
If we apply this principle well, our lives will get many incredible miracles. We must always remind ourselves cutivators, in every breath; our lives just remain through each breath and we should not detach to what people had done in order not to be sufferred. We must not only care of losing or winning but also remember, ‘inhale along with Ami, exhale along with tabha’. We should be merciful for their vagueness. If we can see and do so, our jealousy, greedy, eagerness of winning and anger will be fallen and worn. Our mind will be ease and compassionate.