Make Your Life Better by Saying Thank You in These 7 Situations

I don’t say “Thank You” as often as I should and I doubt I’m the only one.

In fact, I’m starting to believe that “Thank You” is the most\r\nunder-appreciated and under-used phrase on the planet. It is appropriate in\r\nnearly any situation and it is a better response than most of the things we\r\nsay. Let’s cover 7 common situations when we say all sorts of things, but should\r\nsay “Thank You” instead.

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1. When you’re receiving a compliment.

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We often ruin compliments by devaluing the statement or acting\r\noverly humble. Internally, you might think this prevents you from appearing\r\narrogant or smug.

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The problem is that by deflecting the praise of a genuine\r\ncompliment, you don’t acknowledge the person who was nice enough to say\r\nsomething. Simply saying “Thank You” fully acknowledges the person who made the\r\ncompliment and allows you to enjoy the moment as well.

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Example: “Your dress looks great.”

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·\r\nInstead of:“Oh,\r\nthis old thing? I’ve had it for years.”

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou. I’m glad you like it.”

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Example: “Wow! 20 points tonight. You played really well in the\r\ngame.”

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·\r\nInstead of:“Yeah,\r\nbut I missed that wide-open shot in the 3rd quarter.”

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou. It was a good night.”

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Example: “You killed your presentation today!”

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·\r\nInstead of:“Did\r\nI? I felt so nervous up there. I’m glad it looked alright.”

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou. I’m happy it went well.”

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There is something empowering about fully accepting a\r\ncompliment. When you deflect praise, you can’t really own it. When you just say\r\n“Thank You,” you let the weight of the compliment sink in and become yours.\r\nSaying “Thank You” gives your mind permission to be built up by the compliments\r\nyou receive.

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Getting compliments should be fun and enjoyable, but we often\r\nruin the experience. There’s no need to sabotage compliments that come your\r\nway. Accept them with grace and enjoy the moment.[2]

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2. When you’re running late.

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Being late is the worst. It’s stressful for the person who is\r\nrunning late and it’s disrespectful to the person who is waiting.

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It might seem strange to thank someone for dealing with your\r\nhassle, but that’s exactly the correct response. Most people stumble in the\r\ndoor and say, “Sorry I’m late.”

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The problem is this response still makes the situation about\r\nyou. Sorry,I’mlate. Saying “Thank You” turns the tables and\r\nacknowledges the sacrifice the other person made by waiting. Thankyoufor\r\nwaiting. [3]

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Example: You walk in the door 14 minutes late.

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·\r\nInstead of:“So\r\nsorry I’m late. Traffic was insane out there.”

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou for your patience.”

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When we make a mistake, someone else often makes a sacrifice.\r\nOur default response is to apologize for our failure, but the better approach\r\nis to praise their patience and loyalty. Thank them for what they did despite\r\nyour error.

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3. When you’re comforting someone.

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When someone comes to you with bad news, it can be awkward. You\r\nwant to be a good friend, but most people don’t know what to say. I know I’ve\r\nfelt that way before.

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Often times, we think it’s a good idea to add a silver lining to\r\nthe problem. “Well, at least you have...”

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What we fail to realize is that it doesn’t matter if you don’t\r\nknow what to say. All you really need is to be present and thank them for\r\ntrusting you.

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Example: Your co-worker’s mother passed away\r\nrecently.

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·\r\nInstead of:“At\r\nleast you have a lot of fond memories to hold onto.”

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou for sharing that with me. I know this is a hard time for you.”

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Example: Your brother lost his job.

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·\r\nInstead of:“At\r\nleast you have your health.”

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou for sharing this with me. I’m here to support you.”

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Example: Your friend’s pet just died.

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·\r\nInstead of:“At\r\nleast they had a long and happy life.”

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou for sharing that with me. I’m here for you.”

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In times of suffering, we don’t need to hear words to ease the\r\npain as much as we need someone to share our pain. When you don’t know what to\r\nsay, just say “Thank You” and be there.

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4. When you’re receiving helpful feedback.

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Feedback can be very helpful, but we rarely see it that way.\r\nWhether it is an unflattering performance review from your boss or an email\r\nfrom an unhappy customer, the standard reaction is to get defensive. That’s a\r\nshame because the correct response is to simply say, “Thank You” and use the\r\ninformation to improve.

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Example: “This work isn’t good enough. I\r\nthought you would do better.”

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·\r\nInstead of:“You\r\ndon’t understand. Here’s what really happened.”

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou for expecting more of me.”

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Example: “I bought your product last week and it already broke.\r\nI am not happy with this experience.”

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·\r\nInstead of:“How\r\ndid you use it? We made it very clear in our terms and conditions that the\r\nproduct is not designed to work in certain conditions.“

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou for sharing your thoughts. Please know we are committed to becoming better.\r\nCan you share more details about the issue?”

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Nobody\r\nlikes to fail, butfailure is just a data\r\npoint.\r\nRespond to helpful feedback with thanks and use it to become better. [4]

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5. When you’re receiving unfair criticism.

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Sometimes criticism isn’t helpful at all. It’s just vindictive\r\nand mean. I’ve written abouthow to deal with haterspreviously, but one of the best\r\napproaches is to just say thank you and move on.

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When you thank someone for criticizing you, it immediately\r\nneutralizes the power of their statements. If it’s not a big deal to you, then\r\nit can’t grow into a larger argument.

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Example: “This might be good advice for\r\nbeginners, but anyone who knows what they are doing will find this useless.”

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·\r\nInstead of:“Well,\r\nclearly, I wrote this for beginners. This might be a surprise, but not\r\neverything was written with you in mind.”

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou for sharing your opinion. I’ll try to improve next time.”

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Example: “Your statement is the dumbest thing I’ve read all\r\nweek.”

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·\r\nInstead of:“You’re\r\nan idiot. Let me tell you why...”

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou for the feedback. I still have a lot to learn.”

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Releasing the need to win every argument is a sign of maturity.\r\nSomeone on the internet said something wrong? So what. Win the argument by the\r\nway you live your life.

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6. When someone gives you unsolicited advice.

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This shows up a lot in the gym. Everybody has an opinion about\r\nwhat your technique should look like. I think most people are just trying to be\r\nhelpful, but hearing someone’s opinion about you when you didn’t ask for it can\r\nbe annoying.

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One time, someone pointed out some flaws in my squat technique\r\nin a video I posted online. I responded by sarcastically asking if he had a\r\nvideo of himself doing it correctly. Somewhere deep in my mind, I assumed that\r\nif I reminded him that his technique wasn’t perfect, then I would feel better\r\nabout the fact that mine wasn’t perfect either. That’s an unnecessary and\r\ndefensive response.

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The better approach? Just say “Thank You.”

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Example: “You know, you should really keep\r\nyour hips back when you do that exercise.”

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·\r\nInstead of:“Oh\r\nreally? Do you have a video of yourself doing it so I can see it done\r\ncorrectly?”

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·\r\nTry saying:“Thank\r\nyou for the help.”

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Pointing out others faults doesn’t remove your own. Thank people\r\nfor raising your self-awareness, even if it was unsolicited.

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7. When you’re not sure if you should thank\r\nsomeone.

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When in doubt, just say thank you. There is no downside. Are you\r\nhonestly worried about showing too much gratitude to the people in your life?

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“Should I send a Thank You card in this situation?” Yes, you\r\nshould.

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“Should I tip him?” If you don’t, at least say thank you.

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Say thank you, more often.

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James Clearwrites atJamesClear.com, where he shares self-improvement tips based\r\non proven scientific research. You canread his best articlesorjoin his free newsletterto learn how to build habits that stick.

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Entrepreneur,\r\nweightlifter, and travel photographer at http://jamesclear.com

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James Clear– Huffington Post