Seven-Day Retreat- Strange on me!

It is me - a 21-years-old with big dreams, big ambition with "hyperactivity" and young thoughts.

I still remember when I was on my backpack going to Pagoda to register the retreat, and it is now the 7th day. Oh dear! How fast the time has gone! Hoang Phap's 7 days retreat is "strange" to me, special "strange". Why so? There are a lot of things. The first is my practice. The fact I join this is that I am a very naughty and talkative girl, the strangest thing of which was the "quiet" rule. I still remember very clearly that before the retreat a few days, my friend worried about this restrictive rule. She was afraid I couldn't follow this rule because she was afraid I would be bored as there would be many old people. But I did it. Keeping quiet wasn't as difficult as she and I imagined. Haha. How strange it was!

This morning, it is cool but seems to be miserable. Perhaps the nature also feels sad as the retreat almost finishes. It may be affected by our mood. If I came here nervously at the beginning, I now can feel both my body and mind are very delighted, very peaceful.

Oh, I almost forget that it was about 5pm when I came to Hoang Phap and the sky was full of dark clouds. Maybe my decision joining the retreat terrified the nature? The clouds flying and the wind blowing the sala leaves probably welcomed me. What a beautiful impression! 

Another strange thing was the sleeping time. We went to bed at 9pm - it was even ealier than chicken's time. At home, I would be watching movies, listening to music, surfing Facebook, Zalo or even having late snack, ect. But I have to sleep here at that time. And waking up in the next morning was not as too different from chickens - 3.30am. How strange! 

I couldn't sleep at all in the first night at Hoang Phap, for it was weird. It was different matress, different duvet from the mine at home. There were not too many people or maybe it was because I was homesick very much.

There are even stranger things.

In the first day, everyone was given an old pair of yellow - orange slippers and they were all the same. Oh dear, nearly 2000 pairs all looked the same. It is said "No one can take a second bath in the same river" but for me, "Not wearing the same slippers for a second time". Going in and out from the lecture hall in block C doesn't know for how many times, multiply by 7 days, I wore few hundreds of them. If even I could find my first pair, the probability could be counted by fingers. The same with pillows and duvets. Every time I use, it was another one. Not much different from slippers. How strange!  

The food was amazingly good. They were only vegetables, fruits and vegetarian food but going through the talented cooking skills of the monks, they became delicious meals. I am addicted to the food even I ate them everyday for the whole week. Or it can be because eating in a pure, calm atmostphere made it taste so good. I think the reason is both. Everything created a distinct taste.

 One day retreat consists of 4 shifts. In each shift, reciting the Buddha’s names occupied the majority, but the old ladies were sitting very imposingly. Extremely admirable! The night time had 15 minutes sitting in silence. 

This could be the most quiet time - moment:

 

 â€œEmerging in dharma atmosphere

Sitting still, breathing deeply

Gently in and out with the air filling into the lungs

In mindfulness, reciting:”Namo”

Greediness, anger, ignorance peacefully escape

Approaching the Pure Land,

We feel delighted completely

 

In the retreat, keeping your mouth shut may be the most difficult rule. In the first days, they talked a lot as if they couldn't speak for a long time. . They talk in the morning, afternoon, evening, all the time when they wake up in the morning, when they do the personal hygiene, when the do the laundry, even when they listen to the teaching and when they chant, generally, everywhere and everytime they could. When the monk annouced they had to write their card number on the meal, I thought, "Well, I should do seriously to scare people, and call some warning names ".  My selfish thinking was so wrong a that moment. Thus, I can see how the monks’ discipline educate them in flexibility, rigidness, and loveliness. He was right! Speaking is a difficult habit to give up, but we may curb and practise, are unable to change in one or two days. They always used the teachings gently, warmly but still in the "law", and it is easy to listen, easy to modify, easy to follow. It's miraculously, no one was called their name but the number of speaking persons was decreased each day, only a few now. So strange!

 When keeping silent, it was the time for my own. I reserved that time so that I could examinethe self during passing years. I chat with my friends all casual and trivial things.

Like causal condition, I had some friends nearby who were also "quiet" as me. It's like a motivation for me to try to implement and pursue my goals. It was 4 or 5 days I hadn’t been able to know her name, just looking, laughing and cheering to each other.

 If the first day, maybe I'm asleep in a dream hearing dharma. Oh, so sleepy. "The Venerable preaching above is for him, but I sleeping below is for my own." But it was different from these days. I was excited to listen to the homily lecture excellently preached. The preaching was invading and changing in me, so strange!

 Oh, there was something strange that I didn't tell about. Maybe that was my favorite picture which I liked the best of "the monks was washing rice." Oh wow! Look at their washing rice hands. How lithe it is! As a skillful artist!

 Is swimming in a cool stream

 Around a small basket

 And washed by his hands

 Their heartfelt teachings of each meal, the meticulous teachings before eciting Buddha’s name, the dharma teachings, and the time when I was sitting to pray for Buddha in mindfulness changed me. I can't completely change all bad habits, but I know ghosts of "lust, hatred and delusion" were reduced greatly. Now, I don't need to run to choose mosquito nets, blankets, mats, pillows, I don't need to take bottles of water to keep for my own place every meticulous hour, I no longer need to look for new sandals, nice slippers, or hustle upstairs, not eating rubbish candies, and so on.

 "I don’t care about the shoes! Small or large, new or old, left or right – alright to have it! Without them, I can walk in barefoot; no matter with New or old mosquito nets, blankets, mats, pillows which make no sense. Sitting anywhere, just need a place to pray for Buddha, never mind being in front or behind, just on time".

Before joining the retreat, I used to think about negation, take notice to others’ evils. I often equate all good or bad things. I always thought that I am always right, and the thing I do is always right. Every time I make mistakes that someone else complained about, my annoyances was like on fire, or even curse them under his breath. But now, when I made a mistake - they just told commandments - I listen and edit it. I know that the ghosts of lust, hatred and delusion flare up inner at the moment, and they are waiting for the suitable moments to break out. However, when I remember the preaching of my Master, I use mindfulness to encircle, inhibit, isolate these ghosts until they fade and vanish. The feeling of peace and happiness, came to me was so miracle. Mindfulness is the light, the guideline that lead me when I get the wrong way entering to lust, hatred and delusion place where contain full of  blundering and suffering There is only I who enter into the seven-day retreat. No one accompanies me. Other people have mother, aunt, and friends going with that made me sad. I would wish my sister and my mother could arrange their time to join with me. Before I entered the temple for the course, my mother told me that I should have studious, diligent practice, conform to the rules and tell her what I had learned.

 "Mommy! You should proud of me. I did well with what I promised to you that I always try best to conform the rules and pay attention on learning of mindfulness. I know I have to cultivate more, my adorable mom "

 My 1st attendance is the Seven-Day Retreat at Hoang Phap pagoda. This changed all – including my mind, my nature, my thought. Here, I was well taken care of everything from food, sleep, rest and study by Masters. They taught great information in simplicity and profound. Here, I learned how solemn it is in walking, standing, lying, sitting, and sleeping. Here, I have learned a lot from teachers. I learned to share the pills, the bottles of medicated oil, or the nice words, so I can understand more about them. Here, every day I wake up, I sunk in the great landscape, color ful flowers. It was filled with peace and joy. Here - at the Hoang Phap Pagoda - we have The Pure Land.